To some degree, everybody grows up in a world where love is conditional. I think we have a hard time not projecting that onto God as if He can’t be any different.
It's time to free ourselves from believing we can be good enough to earn God's love, or that we're too far gone for grace to save.
Our children need to grow into their own unique selves, not simply to be an extension of us. Otherwise, it becomes more about our unfulfilled wishes.