“Men can’t load a dishwasher properly.”

“Women always go to the bathroom in herds.”

 Bill and Pam Farrel have a few ideas about appreciating our partner’s strengths and weaknesses. We need to laugh at and celebrate our differences in marriage! What can we learn about men and women?

Love each other more than the conflict you’re having.
Bill learned to make Pam laugh in the middle of disagreements – or as Pam calls them, moments of “intense fellowship.” Bill’s joke put Pam at ease and showed her that Bill could handle her heart and push past the momentary issue because of his love for her.

Men can compartmentalize – thus the waffle analogy.
Everything in their life is divided into boxes. Bill points out that when a man feels that he can’t succeed in a particular box, he’ll stay out of it. If this is the relationship box, the man will stop engaging and trying to help and love his wife because past efforts have led to failure. Conversely, women are wired to see everything as connected to everything else – if there’s an issue in one area of life, it will touch every other area. When a husband and wife approach each other with this in mind, they can start to engage each other in a way that raises their happiness and value.

When a man is in the middle of something, it’s helpful to approach him and ask, “When you have a minute, can we connect on something?” That lets him shift out of the current box and come to a “listening” box.

Men feel close to their wives when they have physical intimacy. Women feel close to their husbands when they are listened to and connecting emotionally. Men need to reach their wife’s heart by faith, and wives need to offer their body by faith. Bill and Pam call husbands and wives to remember that God designed sex as a powerful tool to connect a man and woman in marriage, as a gift.

Bill and Pam’s book is Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti.

Highlight : The early years of marriage

We belong together

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