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Forgiveness

Slaying the dragon of self-hatred

One of the most frequent problems I deal with in counseling and coaching is self-hatred. People often tell me, “I know God loves and forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself. I hate myself.” Self-hatred is every bit as much a sin as other-directed hatred. We are all God’s image bearers and, although we might not like aspects…

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A wood-carved valentine

I ask the world’s most obvious question: “All right, who did this?” I jab a finger at the letters carved into the back of the wooden kitchen chair: A N N A Anna’s older sister chimes in first, rolling her eyes for dramatic effect. “I recognize those backwards Ns anywhere,” she says. Anna’s fork falls with…

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Experiencing grace

Several years ago I experienced something that was terrible and wonderful at the same time.  My mother died of lung cancer; she was only sixty-nine. For most of my adulthood, my mother had not been a part of my life.  She didn’t attend my wedding, nor, before her illness, had she ever been to my home.  She missed seeing her grandchildren…

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Video

What’s the worst thing you could imagine having to forgive?

Many of us can think of a divorce, either ours or our parents; abuse as a child; a car crash caused by a careless driver… Pain reaches out to touch us in so many ways.  If you’ve ever found it hard to forgive someone, that’s normal.  The power to forgive can’t come from inside us on our own. Here’s…

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Get rid of it

Like many of you, I’m simplifying my life. I’m getting rid of stuff I don’t need, don’t use, can’t take care of or don’t want. Recently I ran across an old letter I’d saved, written by my mother. Throughout my entire life, we had an emotionally destructive relationship. Even as an adult, as a Christian and as a professional…

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