Is your household child-centric? It is easy for parents to slowly let their world revolve around their children.
At first glance this seems harmless; however, Patrick Schwenk points out that it can lead to unintended consequences.
“It’s so easy for that to happen. Sometimes it’s intentional…and sometimes it’s not intentional. It just happens on its own and we begin to give our child more time and more attention and more affection than we are necessarily committing to our marriage.”
Often parents don’t mean to distance themselves from their spouse, instead it becomes a consequence of parenting.
“It’s just that the demands of parenting are that significant. It takes a lot of time and energy to raise children in God’s way.”
However this small divide can quickly expand to a wide chasm between husband and wife. That is not the type of relationship that God intended for couples and families.
How can couples strive to stay connected?
Ruth Schwenk says that it is imperative for husband and wife to be on the same team. She encourages couples to look for ways to support the each other in the stressful seasons.
“I think that there’s this struggle going on and I think if the husband or wife can be aware of some of those needs and help in that way, even just asking, how can I help you today?”
“That that was the first step for us. Patrick was aware of that need and he did such a good job of asking and having grace with me. I think that really opened communication between us so that it was more like we’re in this together instead of me just being in it alone.”
Feeling connected even in the difficult times makes all the difference in thriving as a married couple with children.
Patrick and Ruth Schwenk have been married for more than 17 years, have four children and have been involved in full-time ministry for more than 15 years. Patrick is a pastor, while Ruth is a blogger and the co-author of Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe and Why We All Need To Knock It Off. The Schwenks are also the creators of ForTheFamily.org, TheBetterMom.com and co-authors of For Better or for Kids: A Vow to Love Your Spouse with Kids in the House.
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